I have heard this mortifying word applied to many. I had not thought a great deal about it previously, however. I thought about it and never knew that it is an insult when someone says that you are super-disgusted with a person.
The word would be mentioned on conversations. When people would call the other individual petty, they would do so with certain exasperation in their voice. But I had never known what a petty person was. Until…today. If you need more interested info like that visit quick guider.
I choose to investigate. The difference that occurred in me due to what I discovered is to think differently about the way human beings conduct themselves.
The Dictionary Rabbit Hole – What Does “Petty” Actually Mean?
Dissecting the Petty Person – Layer by Layer Analysis
First I looked up in the dictionary. Before I could know who is a petty person I had to know what petty means.
My First Stop Almighty dictionary.
The dictionary gave me three different definitions in petty:
The second value or rank Relative value or rank.
Something of or having of little or no importance or significance.
Interested and sympathising in a narrow way: SMALL-MINDED.
These three meanings confused me. So which one is really petty?
Bridging the Gaps – Word to Behaviour
The original definition did not sound demeaning in any sense to me. It talks of position and rank. Petty officer is not military lingo. It is only a rank. This definition is not related to calling the person petty man.
Even in the second definition the mildness was felt. It is not cruel to say, however, that something is of no great importance or of not great importance. It is more of a sound, it does not matter so much. Nor quite the sort of disrespectful word that we use when we are arguing.
Definition three was a success. Small-minded. Narrow interests. Narrow sympathies. If you need info related I Know Right: A Deep Dive into This Popular Expression.
That is a bona fide spit. No one would want to be considered as a big minded person. Nobody would want to be seen to have a distorted view. This must have been what was meant by describing someone as a petty person.
But what does the small-minded really look like in-the-flesh?
I needed to go deeper. Smallminded remained too indeterminate. What does that look like when one is being a petty person?
Small-minded was defined in the dictionary as something with a limited outlook and limited sympathies. But I needed real examples.
A small man is narrow-minded concerning all things. They pay attention to details rather than generalities. They have tunnel vision regarding scenarios that require expansion of thinking.
Their limited view influences the way they treat others. They are not able to perceive outside their own little world.
The Two Categories of Petty People I Discovered
As I dug deeper, I found that petty behavior falls into two main groups:
Category 1: Character-Based Petty Behavior
These petty people show their small-minded nature through their character:
- Bigoted attitudes toward anyone different
- Intolerant reactions to new ideas
- Rude responses to simple requests
- Vulgar language when things don’t go their way
- Low behavior that embarrasses others
A petty person in this category will argue about tiny details. They make everything about themselves. They cannot handle being wrong about anything.
Category 2: Resource-Based Petty Behavior
These petty people show pettiness through how they handle resources:
- Miserly attitudes about sharing anything
- Cheap responses when it’s their turn to pay
- Ungenerous spirit in all relationships
- Stingy behavior with time, money, and help
- Scanty efforts when others need support
A petty person here will split bills to the penny. They remember every favor you owe them. They give the smallest possible gifts. They make you feel bad for asking for help.
How do you spot a petty person? After my research, the signs became crystal clear.
In Personal Relationships
A petty person in relationships shows specific patterns:
They have grudges against minor things. You forgot to text back once? They bring it up months later. You were five minutes late? They pretend that you did not respect them at all.
Petty men score everything. They keep in mind, who financed coffee recently. They keep a record of whoever made a call. They are writing in their minds a list of all these minor insignificances.
They become dramatics with petty issues, because of their tunnel vision. A phone call that was missed turns into you not caring about me. Another thought is “you will never be on my side.
Why is somebody a petty person in relationships? They are not able to pass over trifles. It all comes down to loyalty or respect.
In Professional Settings
Workplace petty people are easy to spot:
They keep information as treasure. They will not give useful tips to their colleagues. They only think about their personal success, because they have narrow sympathies.
At work a petty individual claims the work of the group. They sacrifice other people because of small errors. They talk about other employees all the time.
When new processes are introduced, they are illiberal in their thinking. They are opposed to change because they are opposed. They grumble at all that is done by the management.
What is the way to know that you are working with a petty person? They turn it all into power and status. Even trivial matters are battalions.
On Social Media and Public Spaces
The modern petty person online has clear patterns:
They also write passive aggressive statements about individuals without mentioning them. That kind of post is: “Some people do not value loyalty.
On social media, petty individuals capture personal communication and use it to publicly humiliate someone. They insist on comment boards on little details. Their selfishness causes them to be not concerned with issues but drama.
Someone with a petty mind will shout friends out on minor issues in public. They employ social media as a tool of their meanness.
The Psychology Behind Petty People – Why Are They This Way?
What drives a petty person’s behavior? The answer surprised me.
The Root Causes I Uncovered
Miniature individuals tend to work out of great insecurity. Their little mentality is because they feel so feeble within larger aspects of life.
When a person is unable to control large issues, he/she controls small ones. Some petty individual may not be able to modify his or her circumstances at work. So they dominate every little detail they can.
A good deal of petty behavior is the result of fear. Being afraid of being exploited. Fear of being seen as weak. The fear of losing the little that they have.
Biased thinking produces small-minded individuals as well. When a person views the world in either extremes of black and white, he or she lacks subtlety. All this turns out to be a personal attack.
The Petty Person’s Mindset
There is little within the head of a mote-hill. There is not enough respect to share. Not enough credit. Not enough attention.
Such a limited perspective causes them to fight over crumbs rather than striving towards greater heights. Their small minds are not able to see massive opportunities.
A petty man believes in a zero-sum game in life. The other person wins and they lose. When other people receive the compliments, they have less to be complimented.
Dealing with Petty People – My Hard-Learned Lessons
How do you handle petty people? This question matters because we all encounter them.
When You Encounter a Petty Person
How to deal with petty people begins with their character:
Do not take them deadly seriously. Nor are they unfriendly to you. The petty person treats everyone in such a fashion.
Set clear boundaries early. The minorities will be at the periphery at all times. Tell them what type of behavior you do not want. Stick to it.
Avoid feeding their drama. A juvenile lives in conflict over minor things. Don’t give them that energy.
Use the gray rock method. Get boring when they make an effort to break out small fights. Give short and direct answers. Do not enter into their meanness.
When You Realize YOU Might Be the Petty Person
Am I being petty? This is a hard question to ask yourself.
Signs you’re exhibiting petty person behavior:
- You remember every small slight against you
- You keep track of who owes you what
- You get upset over tiny details
- You hold grudges for weeks over minor issues
- You make others pay for small mistakes
Petty behavior often starts small. You feel disrespected by something minor. Instead of addressing it directly, you start acting stingy or ungenerous.
To overcome petty tendencies:
- Practice letting small things go
- Focus on bigger picture goals
- Address conflicts directly instead of keeping score
- Give people benefit of the doubt
- Ask yourself: “Will this matter in a year?”
The Bigger Picture – What Petty People Teach Us
Why is petty person behavior so triggering? The answer reveals something important about human nature.
The Mirror Effect
We are triggered by petty people because they are the mirror of our fears. There are times of narrow thinking in us all. We do tend to behave small minded.
When we look at a petty person, we are reminded of our worst impulses. Their low or uncultured manners reveal to us what we might become when our myopic opinion carries the day.
We also get frustrated by petty person behavior, which wastes energy. Life has real problems. An unsignificant individual is concerned with artificial issues.
Breaking the Cycle
Moving from petty person patterns to growth requires conscious effort:
Learn to be generous in times of stinginess in others. They have no need to affect your behavior cheaply.
Nourish general affections rather than particular passions. Attempt to see other opinions. Small men are limited to a single viewpoint.
Build real confidence. A bad man is a big man who is not so sure. True confidence does not have to make other people feel bad.
Focus on abundance thinking. Scarcity is observed everywhere by petty people. Learn to look at opportunities and improvement.
Choose your battles wisely. A wretched man is a battler of little things. Hard men only fight over important things.
My Final Thoughts on Petty People
This process of getting lost and found something to teach me. A petty person is not just a rude or mean person.
People who are petty are prisoners of their small perspective on life. They are themselves as small-minded as they bother others to be.
So what makes a person a petty person? It is the inability to look past minute, short-term issues. Their small-mindedness does not allow them to enjoy the bigger things of life.
The most important lesson? The behavior of petty people is an option. We all have the option of broad thinking. We are able to choose to be generous instead of being parsimonious. It is possible to choose reasonableness instead of being bigoted.
By knowing petty people we learn to react to them in a better way. More to the point, it helps us not to become them.
Key takeaways about identifying and handling a petty person:
- They focus on tiny details instead of big pictures
- They keep score of every small interaction
- They cannot let minor issues go
- They see competition where others see cooperation
- They need control over small things because they lack control over big things
The next time someone calls someone a petty person, you’ll know exactly what they mean. More importantly, you’ll know how to handle the situation with wisdom instead of frustration.